Friday, April 29, 2011

Why I don't like Cooperative Games

No one likes to lose, fail or experience disappointment.  These experiences however, are inevitable in life, necessary for growth and development, the seed from which future successes are born.  The key though, is for the person who is experiencing such to do so in a way that moves them forward.

When I was little I had a poster in my room.  It was Snoopy and Woodstock playing tennis and the caption said "It doesn't matter if you win or lose.  It's how you play the game."  Of course I think Woodstock was beating Snoopy over the head with a tennis racket...but that isn't the point. 

The point is that the experience in and of itself is what matters.  Although winning feels better than losing and success is certainly more desirable than failure the ability to engage in the process, try your best and accept the outcome, regardless of preference, want or need is what dictates the ability to be authentic and present in life. 

What does this have to do with my feelings around cooperative games?  While I understand that "cooperative games" are meant to teach cooperation, team building, problem solving etc, they don't necessarily teach children how to lose (or win for that matter) and let's face it, in our society someone always loses.

Today was Smile Mile at my 8 year old's school.  Last year, he ran a respectable 10 minute mile with me by his side.  The goal this year:  beat last year's time.  Unfortunately I couldn't run with him (for obvious reasons) and he did not beat his time, and according to him, even worse..."I didn't smile".  Honestly, I think he went around the track 1 extra time, but I'm not going to push the issue.  For those of you who don't know my son, he doesn't take losing lightly...in fact he hates it.  He doesn't become irate and lash out, he turns it inwards and wallows in disappointment.

All I could do was give him a hug and tell him that everybody has bad days...even if we train really hard for something.  I told him we would take him to the track and time him again and we would work really hard so he could beat the 10 minute time next year.  I also told him that it is okay to be disappointed and to allow himself to feel it (mindfulness), but he also needs to know that life will go on and he will be okay.

By the time he got home tonight, he was pretty much over it.  And I am proud of him for handling it so well.

You see, it doesn't really matter IF you win or lose, what matters is HOW you win or lose.  I believe cooperative games in the absence of competitive games early on fails to teach children this important skill.  The earlier a child learns that not everyone gets a chair in musical chairs, or that someone HAS to be the goose, the more equipped they will be to handle life's bigger disappointments in the coming years...like a broken foot the week before you are suppose to run the Broad St 10 miler or the look on your child's face when they realize they haven't reached their goal.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Minding Your Mind and Your Body

I realized after publishing my last post that I failed to mention how Mindfulness can be a very important ally when dealing with any setback in life, including a broken foot.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapists believe that feelings are simply a manifestation of thoughts which eventually lead to behavior.  In effect, if you change the way you think, you will change the way you feel, thus changing the way you behave.  One of the goals of cognitive behavioral therapy is to help people change the way they think ultimately leading to a change in feeling and behavior.  Mindfulness, which actually stems from Buddhist tradition is a quality that allows you to do this by fully paying attention to yourself without judgment or expectation.

Bam!  I said it, "Pay Attention To Yourself!"  Try it.....trust me.  It works.  So when I acknowledged to my son the other day that I was, in deed, cranky...I started the process of paying attention to myself.  I thought about it all day...and then I came home and blogged about it.  Yes, I am cranky.  I can't walk.  I have to hop.  I can't wear the cute black summer shoes my mom gave me.  Shaving my legs is like a freaking balancing act, and dammit, I can't do the Broad Street Run!!  Yes, I am cranky!!!

And guess what?  Yesterday I woke up.  And I wasn't so cranky anymore.  And, I could walk with one crutch (just a few steps...but it's progress) and I will be able to wear those shoes before the summer is over, I sat on the shower floor to shave.....and there will always be another Broad Street Run. 

In addition, my exercise circuit worked out well yesterday.  38 minutes of total exercise, broke a sweat, elevated the heart rate and actually worked a few new muscles.  I also "crutched" (my coinage for "walked with crutches") for over a mile yesterday (not all at once and not by choice).   Did you know walking with crutches burns almost 3 times the amount of calories as just plain old walking?  Yeah, I know you want to go out and get yourself a pair of crutches now!  It's going to be the hottest exercise fad since P90X!

I chose not to exercise today.  This is where "minding your body" is just as important as "minding your mind".  I knew yesterday was a long day and I was feeling it as I went to bed.  As much as I want to stay active, my body needed time to rest.  Sure enough, my arms and back have been pretty sore all day.  I'm glad I didn't over do it.

Tomorrow though, is a new day.  My plan:  P90X Arms and Shoulders.  "The glamor muscles".  This is a great workout for anyone with a disabled foot or leg because you can do most of it either on your knees or sitting in a chair.  I just need to figure out how to get my weights into the room with the computer......oh that's what husbands are for!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Crankies Set In

"The Crankies", otherwise known as a very low tolerance for everyone and everything around me, has set in.  I knew it was coming...after the novelty of a "tragic" event wears off and life around you gets back to normal you realize the extent to which your own life is effected.

So I am reminded how much more effort everything takes when you can't bear weight on one foot.  The simple acts of getting a glass of water, picking something up off the floor, wiping your kid's butt, all have to be anticipated and planned.  Try it...I dare you.  Get up from the chair in which you are sitting, hop over to where you can get the nearest glass of water and hop back to your seat.  You can try it with crutches too..sometimes that is even harder.  Then, imagine doing that for EVERYTHING.  It's exhausting.

Thus the screaming at my 8 year old this morning when I gave him the one job of carrying my coffee to the car and he spilled it all over the front porch.  Okay...just a few drops, but I reacted as if it was the whole thing.  "You're so cranky."  he said.  "Yes, yes I am." 

Only to be made worse when my 3 year old announced right before bath tonight, "I pee'd all over the wall!!!".  I am grateful for my husband who cleaned it all up.

That being said, the "Mother of All Workouts" was a success this morning!!  Yay for bands that hook onto the door (perfect if you can't use your foot because you can either sit or kneel).  I was able to do all of the push ups on my knees and even did somewhat modified dive bombers.  I did attempt that pull up, but still no dice.

Tomorrow my plan is to try a circuit.  10 exercises 30 seconds each with 15 second transitions 3x.  My goal is to get my heart rate up as much as possible.  I'm not so sure how this will work.  Below are some thoughts on exercises to try, but first a note in case anyone is wondering why I am posting about daily exercises:  The last time I broke my foot I couldn't find anything pertaining to exercising with a bum foot other than doing rows (who wants to do rows for 30 minutes 5x/week???), or doing pilates, most of which I can no longer do because of some jacked up stomach muscles.  So this is for anyone searching for exercise suggestions when you can't use your foot:

Squat Runs - (if your hurt foot can tolerate some weight).  Bear down on your good foot and squat as best you can.  Make sure you have good balance and then move your arms back and forth as if running as fast as you can.
Banana Rolls or Superman Banana
Side Tri Rise
Hydrants
Rows
Side Hip Raises
Tricep Dips
Back Kicks (on knees) - while on hands on knees swing your knee up to your nose and the extend your foot to the sky.  Repeat on other side.
Jack Knife
Jab/Uppercut

Repeat 3x

Did I mention that I love YouTube?  So much good stuff out there!!!

Okay...I will let you know if this is worth it.  I am totally making it up as I go along.

One last note, for anyone who knows my kids...judge them not by the clothes they are wearing this week (or maybe even next).  They are dressing themselves and we are running out of clean things to wear!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Gratitude

Gratitude.  Something we tend to forget about when focused on what goes wrong in life, yet somehow there is always that one well-meaning person jabbering in your ear......"Be thankful it's not both feet....then you would really be in trouble..."  Really??

In all seriousness though, people strongly believe and studies do show that gratitude holds some kind of magic power...those who display it attract more and more to be grateful for.

So here it goes:

I am grateful that it is my left foot that is broken instead of my right so I can drive.

I am grateful for my upper body fitness this time around, as my arms, back and shoulders seem to be handling the strain of using the crutches much better than they did pre P90X.

I am grateful for my husband who cleaned the house yesterday, even though it is already destroyed again today.  Read:  Toys and assorted things left on the floor for someone to step on and break a foot!  UGH!

I am grateful for all of my friends and co-workers who shook their heads when they saw me, offered their condolences and extended a hand in this time of need.

And now for the prognosis.  It's actually not that bad.  Not a Jones Fracture like last time....yet another thing to be grateful for.   It is an Avulsion Fracture, more common and easier to heal.

Treatment:  The Big Black Boot for at least a month (if I had thought about it I would have brought the one I had to the doctor appointment.  Do you think insurance will pay for two in less than two years?)  Non weight bearing for only 5-7 days and then I can walk on it as tolerated.  I could be in a sneaker by June....running again by July.  I probably won't even need PT.   I'll take it!!

So how to stay in shape in the meantime??  Tomorrow is P90X Chest and Back, with a few adjustments.

Push ups on my knees (which I usually am by the third set anyway)

I use bands over the door instead of a pull up bar because even after 14 months of doing this I still can't do a freakin pull up.   Hey....maybe that can be a broken foot goal?  Can I do one full pull up by the time this boot comes off for good?

I won't be able to do heavy pants for sure, so instead I will work on that pull up.

I will have to do lawn mowers on my knees.

Dive bombers will be interesting.  I will let you know how that works out!

Trying to stay positive and take it day by day...not to mention, I get to ride those cool scooters at Target that beep when you back up!  Look out, here I come...beep, beep, beep....

Sunday, April 24, 2011

17 Things I Learned About Having a Broken Foot Revisited

17 things I learned about having a broken foot.  Authored by Moi, on December 15, 2009.  I never thought I would need to revisit this for the sake of going through it again:

    1. Walking three blocks on crutches is harder than you think.

2. 2. The bruising on your palms, chafing on your sides and ache in your back will hurt more than the broken bone.

3. 3. Take advantage of not being able to drive..... wine, whine and wine.

4. 4. Sliding down the stairs on your ass is overrated no matter what your kids think.

5. 5. Do not rock your 30lb child to sleep in a chair that is across the room from the crib.

6. 6. A broken foot does not excuse you from washing dishes, doing laundry or making school lunches.

7. 7. There is no shame in crawling up stairs...or just crawling in general for that matter.

8. 8. When carrying a full wine glass while using crutches hold it by the rim, otherwise you will have an empty wine glass.

9. 9. Do not attempt to get the mail, vacuum or carry a full cup of coffee while using crutches.

1010.  Hoping in socks is easier than hoping in shoes or bare feet because you can do a hop slide sort of thing and move a lot quicker.

1111.  Having a stool in the shower to sit on is not such a bad thing.

1212.  Your 7 year old will amaze you with his willingness to help without whining even though you know he wants to.

1313.  Your 2 year old will take full advantage of the fact that you can't catch him (see #10)

1414.  Your husband will step up and bathe the kids, drive you around, cook the meals and try not to complain.

1515.  When you wonder how you will get through another day, your neighbor will greet you with a smile in the morning, zipper your kid's coat, kiss your other kid's cheek, drive you to work and tell you that she actually enjoys doing it. (I will miss our morning rides)

1616.  Strangers will go out of their way to help you, especially children.

1717. Your family, friends and co-workers will amaze you with their support and willingness to help out in any way they can.

TTHANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED US THROUGH THIS. YOUR HELP IS GREATLY APPRECIATED AND WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN!!!!

Okay…so I tried to focus on the positive things.  What I really remember is that I thought the healing process would never end, yet five months later (exactly one year ago), I ran my best time in the Broad Street 10 Miler.  A run, that I will be missing next week…Oh the irony.

In October 2009 I stepped off a random curb, landed on an acorn and broke the fifth metatarsal on my right foot.  A Jones Fracture, the most difficult break to heal due to the lack of blood flow to that particular area of the foot.  The doc said I may never run again, I read horror stories describing years of healing…non-weight bearing for months and months.   Luckily I was non-weight bearing for only 9 weeks, in the boot for another 3 and walking after a total of 12.  PT for 2 months and I was off and running…literally. 

Yesterday I came barreling down the stairs after putting my now 3 ¾  year old in time out for the umpteenth time in 2 hours, stepped on a shin guard left at the bottom of the stairs and did the exact same thing to the left foot.

So here I sit, trying to find the silver lining, the positive learning experience, the lesson the universe is trying to send me….haven’t quite figured it out yet.  Thoughts are welcomed…what good can come of this experience??  I suppose that which doesn’t destroy me makes me stronger, or some shit like that.

The two biggest hurdles I remember from last time are:
1.     How to clean my house
2.     How to get my exercise on

Last time, after several arguments and not being able to stand the nastiness of my house any longer, we hired a lovely couple to clean every two weeks.   I loved coming home to a sparkling house, you know the one, it smells clean, feels clean and you didn’t have to scrub anything?  Once I was able to get around again though, we let them go.  A luxury we couldn’t really maintain…this time I may forego the arguments and get right on the cleaning service.  If anyone knows of someone who is willing to do some serious scrubbing at a reasonable rate for a limited period of time please hit me up!

So, on to the exercise dilemma.  How to stay fit with a broken foot…hmmm.  Last time I did some limited upper body moves a few times a week.  This time around I am in a different place.  Having done P90X and Insanity for the last 18 months I have learned a lot more about exercise and fitness.  I know new moves and can probably come up with some pretty good routines, which I will share as part of this blog (thus the Bring It! reference – Tony Horton fans say “Hey”!)

For now though…since the ER doc didn’t give me any good meds, I will practice bicep curls using a full glass of wine and try to focus my metabolism for the next 24 hours on healing my foot.   That, and not killing my kids who have decided that today is a good day to start a band…drums and all.