Making Love, Not War....Would It Really Change Everything?

I just finished reading Sex at Dawn written by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha  It took me a while, only because I stopped a few times to read other less heavy books, like Unbroken.  Okay...I guess Unbroken is pretty heavy but it was a much easier read...I mean if you can tolerate that kind of stuff.  Great book by the way.

So back to Sex at Dawn and my thoughts on this book which is about the evolution of sex and how it effects our society today.  Totally awesome book....again...if you can tolerate this kind of stuff.  It is chocked full of info that makes you stop and say hmmmmmm.  But, I warn you, it may rub some people the wrong way.  It will challenge pretty much everything you think you know about sex, marriage, infidelity and society.

Other than an overall sense of "Wow...this is cool stuff", a few things stood out for me.  Mind you, I have a horrible memory and tend not to remember any details...about anything (just ask my husband how many times he has to tell me which Salsa to get him at Baja Fresh... and I still get him the wrong one every time).  But every once in a while a few useless facts will stick.

Our closest ancestors

1.  Our DNA is closer to that of the Bonobo Monkeys than the DNA of an African Elephant is to that of an Asian Elephant.  This fascinates me.  Bonobo Monkeys, by nature, are polyamourous. 

2.  When a woman is taking birth control pills her innate ability to chose a genetically fit male is effected.  Apparently we are genetically engineered to choose men who have different MHC then us, thus optimizing the fitness of our children (this somehow increases the child's range of immunity).  While on the pill women tend not to choose such men, sometimes even choosing men who have the same MHC which could predispose their children to significant health risks.  The implications of this are mind boggling in so many ways! How has the birth control pill effected our evolution?  Do we really have free will, or is it all an illusion?

3. Some theorize that survival for the fittest actually occurs on a cellular level.  Basically, the sperm that makes it to the egg wins and each female is engineered to allow different sperm to win. The interesting piece is that it is presumed that the sperm is not all from the same male.

4.  In sexually polyamourous societies males have no way of knowing which children are theirs, thus they treat all children as if they were theirs.  Children are raised and accepted by everyone.  Imagine this for a moment in the context of a little league game where Dads are posturing on behalf of their boys. 

5.  In these societies there is little aggression, no famine, no poverty, fewer chronic health conditions and no infidelity.

Basically, the authors are theorizing that if we just gave into our biologically driven desire to have sex, with anyone, or at least more than one person at any given time we would be a much happier society.  But alas....we have evolved so far from this concept that it would take thousands of years to make it work. 

Can you imagine waking up one day and suggesting to your partner..."hey hon why don't you go out and have sex with whomever you want...just be home in time for dinner."

Here is a comprehensive review of the book.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

 

Bullies are People Too

Just a thought on bullying.  It really f'ing sucks.

I know none of us want to think that our child is a bully.  Even if they are doing "bullyish" things...parents will often say, "Oh that's just a kid doing what kids do."  Really?  So when does "what kids do" cross the line into bullying?  What are your thoughts on that?

Often times young kids don't even know they are being bullied.  And even if they realize it, they may not have the verbal skills to express it in a way that an adult takes it seriously.  They will say things like, "Kids are being mean to me." or "Joey pushed me today."  As parents and educators we often go right to, "Well, what were you doing that caused this to happen?"  In turn, children feel blamed and stop telling.

On the other side of the coin, sometimes bullies don't realize that they are bullying.  Our educators do a lot of work teaching children about "being bullied" but how does a child know if they are actually doing the bullying?  I have heard children say, "Oh, I didn't know that is what I was doing."  School age children especially lack the ability to determine how their behavior is effecting others.  Is is important that we talk with them about this, use role playing and ask questions.

Some people feel that being bullied is a right of passage.  It builds character, makes you stronger.  This might be true in some cases, but more often than not, bullying causes serious mental and emotional harm.  Children are resilient, yes...but they are also impressionable and vulnerable.  Having to encounter a bully on a day to day basis chips away at their self-esteem and feelings of self worth.  Physiologically it causes an unhealthy increase in cortisol which is our stress hormone, making the child hyper vigilant, anxious, unable to concentrate and depressed.  All of these things have an effect on the developing brain and psyche.  Ultimately it can change brain function leading to long term consequences.

Bullying doesn't just occur with children.  As adults we encounter bullies in the work place and in our social circles.  These are the people who go out of their way to make others feel uncomfortable, unappreciated or unheard.  Often times they lack the social skills needed to have positive social relationships...and if you confront them, they would probably be genuinely surprised by other people's experience of them.

Ultimately, we have to understand that there will always be bullies...and there will always be victims.  It is inherent in our social structure and almost unavoidable.  The good news is that we don't have to tolerate it.  We have more options now than we ever have in terms of speaking up, finding our voice and being heard.  I say this from the point of view of the bully as well as the victim because when it comes right down to it, bullies are victims too and should be afforded the same opportunities to grow and learn.

Orchestrating Life

I read a great article today that compared choosing a fitness plan to conducting a symphony.  The author likens the transformation of creating a fitness repertoire that encapsulates the whole body to that of orchestrating a symphony that encapsulates the whole spirit.

I especially like the first part where the author describes choosing a fitness plan that leads you to what you want to accomplish based on who you are.  Now, the article is a bit skewed based on the fact that it was written for the Team Beachbody newsletter, however as a concept I think the idea ties real nicely into this whole concept of Being and Authentic Self.  In order to figure out where you want to go...you have to know where you are.

So I would challenge folks to take a step back even further.  A lot of people who jump full force into  exercising end up losing momentum and ultimately stop.  Time marches on and they wonder, "What ever happened to that exercise thing I was doing?"  People give up, the desire fades, they get to busy, life gets in the way....in other words, Epic Fail.

I believe that in order to be successful in something, including transforming one's lifestyle to include a fitness regimen, one has to start with soul searching and ultimately orchestrate this life change based on their Authentic Self.

Where to start?  Here are my thoughts:

1.  What are your goals?   In other words...why are you doing this?  To lose weight?  To lower blood pressure?  To gain muscle?  To get ripped?  To feel good?  Really take the time to think about this, because the answer will drive everything from this point forward.  Once you have decided on what your goals are (which could change at any time by the way) WRITE THEM DOWN!  Studies show that those who write their goals down are significantly more likely to achieve said goals than those who do not write them down.

2.  What type of person are you?  What is your inherent personality?  Why is this important?  Because it will determine what type of exercise you will choose to do and more importantly STICK WITH.  For example: If you are a "Thinker" that likes to keep to yourself, do things at your own pace, and eschew group activities  signing up for a boot camp or joining a community intramural sport is probably not the best choice for you.  On the other hand, if you are a "Doer" joining an Ultimate Frisbee league is probably right up your alley!

3.  What is your current lifestyle?  Do you work 12 hours a day?  Do you have a family?  Are you engaged in hobbies?  Do you attend a lot of social activities?  How is exercise going to fit into the way you live your life?  If you go to bed at 1am on most nights, don't plan on waking up at 5am to exercise.  You will never sustain it.  If you pick up the kids after school and have to run them around to their own activities on most days, don't plan on exercising in the afternoon.  It will never work.   Choose something that fits your lifestyle and you will be more likely to sustain it over time.

4. Research.  What is available?  Do you live near a fitness center?  Do you have room in your home to do at home exercise?  Are their boot camps in your community?  What are your options?  Fitness is nothing more than physical activity....anything active done purposefully can be exercise including cleaning the house and shopping.

5. Plan.  Put all of the above together and come up with a 30 day plan.  Don't commit to more than that until you know that your plan is working for you.  If you find that you have not stuck to it within the designated 30 days or you don't get the results you want, it is time to re-evaluate steps 1-4.

WHEW!  And you haven't even picked out your gear yet.  This fitness stuff is hard work.  Making a life change is not easy and it takes planning and patience.  I guarantee though, once you figure it out and find what works it will just happen, like an orchestra performing the perfect symphony.  Everything just falls together in the right places.

To Blog or Not To Blog

It's been a while...mostly because I got tired of complaining about all of my ailments...but also because the need to blog just suddenly left.  At first it kept me focused....but I do wonder now if it kept me focused on the wrong things.  By blogging about my pain, did I merely bring attention to it, making it bigger and badder than it really was?

Since my last post, I have lost the boot (that was a little bit over 3 weeks ago) and my chest ailment has been rediagnosed as some type of gastro issue for which I am taking "the purple pill".  I am back to doing my Insanity and P90x workouts and running intervals.  I even went dancing in heels Sat night to celebrate my 40th birthday!!

So now I have a decision to make about this blog....do I keep it up or let it die?  I mean, life goes on whether you blog about it or not..right?

I happened to have an interesting conversation with some people at work today.  We were working on a project and some how the discussion led to the concept of "being".  Why is it so hard for us to just "Be"?

And so is born the next subject on which to focus a blog.

Since I am no longer "Bringing It with a Broken Foot", really because my foot is not broken anymore...I am now just "Being".  And perhaps, while bringing attention to "being" I will be able to focus my energy around the ability to just "be".

Our Delicate Selves

Again, another delay in blog posts.  It has been a difficult week (or two) to say the least.

Last I left off, I was going to see a Sports Medicine Doc, which I did.  Of course, while I was there my chest didn't hurt at all.  Nope...no pain...whatsoever.  I felt it earlier in the day...oh and later when I got back to work...but while I was at the doctor...nope, nada, nothing.  And....nothing he did recreated it.

It was kind of like a comedy skit..."Does it hurt when I do this?"  "No."  "How about this?"  "Nope"  "What about here."  "No...nothing".  Figures.

Regardless,  great experience, great doctor, asked lots of relevant questions and pushed and probed all over my chest and back.  I mentioned the motrin and the foot...he didn't think I was crazy and actually told me to stop taking the motrin and use tylenol for the pain.  When I explained to him that I would rather be in the boot for an extra week than deal with the pain in my chest, he explained to me that the bone has a window of time in which it can heal.  If it doesn't heal now...it is not a matter of being in the boot for another week or two...or three or four.   You get the picture..

He checked for blood clots and did an EKG to make sure my heart was okay...and it is.  Finally, he wrote me a script for chest X-Rays.

So it's Memorial Day Weekend and of course, I get to Roxborough Memorial Hospital (Yes...that is where I had to go) and they were cloooosed.  Funny thing is...they didn't even know it.  The Emergency Room Nurse was freaking out because she had to register "Outpatient Patients" and the radiology department wasn't even open!  Typical.

So I go back on Tuesday morning for the X-Ray, call on Wednesday to follow up...and hey...guess what???

Everything looks GOOD.

Try to wrap your brain around this...I am in terrible, terrible pain.  At any given time when this thing flares up, I am thinking that I am going to die...and nobody can tell me what is wrong.  Seriously, in my head I was picking out a new nanny/wife for my husband and kids.

Meanwhile...here is the kicker.  Everyone stops me on the street to ask me how my foot is doing because I am still hobbling around in the the big black boot (which by the way, for anyone wondering, it doesn't hurt a lick) and all I want to do is scream about my chest.

Lesson here:  you never know what people are dealing with internally.

Loooong story short...next theory:  Gastrointestinal.  In other words...we think you have reflux and/or severe heartburn.  Really?

So now I am on Prevacid OTC and I go back to the sports medicine doc on Thursday.  I have actually felt pretty good the last few days.  Today was pretty much symptom free!!  Wahoo!!

For those of you interested in the fitness aspect of this deboccle of a blog...the doctor did say I could continue using the bike but to lay off upper body stuff until he figured out what was going on with my chest.  So I have been alternating spinning and intervals using the exercise ball for core work.  I have also been doing leg lifts for quads and hamstrings on the weight bench. 

I will be really annoyed if it was reflux this whole time and I could have been working my upper body.

My guess...a combination of things.....costochondritis, reflux, heartburn, muscles, nerves and a broken foot.  All a reminder of how delicate our bodies really are and how much physical pain can effect our every day lives.

One Day at a Time

So here we are.

I went to the foot doctor on Monday, expecting some good news, but alas, none was to come.  He asked how my foot felt, I said "fine".  He said it wasn't swollen.  I said, "Yeah...that could be because I am taking 2400 mg of motrin a day for Costochondritis.  He nodded his head, asked how I got Costo and empathized with my pain.  Then he took an X-ray.

When he came back he looked a bit baffled.  "Still not healed.  These suckers take a long time...how about we put screws in your foot?"

They look like drywall screws...are you kidding?

WHAT?!?!

Okay....so a month ago you said 4-6 weeks in the boot no problem....now you want to put screws in?  No effin way!

So I looked at him and simply said, "You are not putting any screws in my foot."  I healed from a Jones Fracture in 12 weeks, I will heal from this too.

And so, he sent me on my way with another appointment in 4 weeks.

In the meantime I started to think about all of the motrin I have been taking (and trying to wean from).  Hmmmmm....I had a hunch so I googled "Motrin effects bone healing".  Isn't google great?

What do you know??  Motrin (or any NSAID) slows bone healing.  In fact, they give it to people when they DON'T want a bone to grow back.

FABULOUS!

I have been trying to wean myself off of the motrin for two weeks now.  Sunday and Monday were pretty much costochondritis symptom free.

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY

Anyone who has experienced the pain associated with costochondritis will understand my expression of joy.

And it's back

So I went down to 1800mg of motrin on Tuesday and Wednesday.  By 1:00 on Wednesday afternoon, it was back.  Full force!  Like a sucker punch, bam...there it was.

So back up to 2400mg I go.  Slow bone healing I have to accept.

I made an appointment with a Sports Medicine Doctor for this afternoon.  I am feeling very confused around this whole thing.  I'm not sure what I should be doing, could be doing or absolutely should not be doing in order to make this chest pain go away.

I exercised Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  Mostly on the bike but I also did light resistance with arms and shoulders and some core stuff.  Could that have triggered a relapse in symptoms??  Should I lay off all resistance, or will resistance actually help the healing?  Is the motrin really effecting the healing time of my foot?  Is there an alternative anti-inflammatory?  How long can I expect this to last?

Oy, so many questions.  Hopefully today I will get some answers!  Stay tuned. :)

Unbearable Pain and Cycling..Where Did The Week Go?

Sorry for the lack of posts this past week.  I suppose I haven't had much to say, but I have also been a bit distracted.  I am writing now for any folks who are reading this relating to either a broken foot or costochondritis.  

Similar to the boot I am wearing.

Bike on a trainer.

This past week was really tough.  The pain associated with costochondritis has been unbearable at times, making it difficult to function or get anything done.  Last weekend I did finally get on my bike (using the trainer).  Big black boot and all.  If you have a broken foot and are allowed to put any weight on it, I highly recommend a stationary bike for cardio.  I rode for 25 minutes on Sat and 30 minutes on Sunday and then I iced my chest.  Interestingly enough, my chest did not hurt at all during the workout or directly after.  Icing it either made it worse or didn't do anything though, because both days were pretty torturous.

On Monday and Tuesday there were actually moments when I wasn't thinking about my chest.   I decided to start weaning off the motrin and took my dose down to 600mg 3x/day instead of 800.  By Friday I felt just as bad as I did the previous weekend.  Back up to 800mg....ugh!  As of yesterday I also added a Zantac and if it is really hurting...I take tylenol too.  So far today has been a GREAT day.  I feel halfway human.  Just not sure what the other half is yet..

Halfway human...although imagine it with only one foot.

In the meantime, I have been walking just the tiniest bit on my foot without the boot in the morning and at night.  Mostly to get back and forth to the bathroom, because using the crutches hurts my chest to much.  The GOOD news is that I don't feel any pain in my foot!

So, either my chest hurts so badly that it is completely masking any pain in my foot, or maybe it is the 800mg of motrin I am taking 3x/day....or it could be that the break is pretty close to being healed!!

I have continued on the bike every other day for the last week.  I am still steering clear of any strength training, however I am considering working my arms tomorrow.  By the way, a great resource for cardio workouts is a website called motiontraxx.com

You can download workout music for free.  The cool thing is that you get tracks that set your pace.  Some even do intervals for you.   Currently there is a series of cycling mixes.  AWESOMENESS!

Tomorrow I go to the foot doctor.  There is a possibility that I will be able to get rid of the boot.  Which would be great for many reasons, one of which is the fact that it is FUNKY from sweating my ass off on the bike. 

Stay posted for updates...and thanks for reading!